There I said it.
Wow. I feel relieved by saying this small sentence.
Let me recall what recently happened that allowed me to victoriously claim these words.
I’m a sporadic reader.
I will lurk over the library shelves with vulture-like intentions and if I see a hapless book calling for me to save it from the dust bunnies, I snatch them up. Or I will see books that I want to devour and place them on hold with our local Kentucky library.
I figured, “Ah, they will take a long time to get the books I want. Besides, we live in the sticks and they couldn’t possibly get books that fast.”
I started to get notices in my Inbox: Your hold has arrived. Now I was really in a dilemma. I had books that I checked out already by impulse. Now, I have a stack of books waiting for me due to the library being so efficient! How dare they use my tax money to get what I wanted!
The library even had the nerve to do an interlibrary loan in order for me to read a certain book! Just who do they think they are?! So I went to the library with a John Deere emerald tractor, picked up my stash, and chugged back home.
“I can finish all of this. I can skim most of these books and I’ll be done with them,” I said with my iconic Superman pose. My wife Babydoll rolled her eyes and filed my statement in her mental folder under “101 Crazy Things Hapless Husband Has Tried.”
Bah! What does she know?
Weeks past. Certain books were tapping me on the shoulder, “Hey Buddy, are you gonna read me or what?”
“In a minute, I’m readin’ graphic novels now. Get back in line! No soup for you!” The nerve.
Another week past. More books started to snore loudly because they have waited too long for me. I cradled them to the closet and into a shopping bag so they can sleep peacefully.
Another week. The books are banging on the closet door, “It’s too dark in here! Mommy!” Sigh. I take them out. They smiled with glee. I placed them on the computer desk. The weekend is here. Pshh! I’m going to do stuff with the fam or do computer work.
One day, Babydoll said to me, “Honey, do you have any book due because I know you renewed them last month?”
Anger flushed my body. Who does she think she is to remind me? I’m the Book Master!
“Okay, I’ll check tonight.”
Later that day, Babydoll checked on my account (Like she’s Jason Bourne and just HAPPENED to be at the library). I had one book this week.
Ha! Silly rabbit! I can use the Almighty Renew button!
I hopped on the computer during the night, typed in the library website, and opened my account. I smiled with a sinister grin and click on renewal and was denied.
No more renewals left.
This morning while getting ready for work, I had to confess there was no way I can read these books. I have admitted defeat.
So I failed.
I really tried to read all of those books yet I didn’t have my priorities straight.
My priorities are spending time with God and family; writing, working on building relationships and my brand online, and improving myself.
I needed a plan of action than to jump into the Book Mosh Pit and hoping that I could dance with them forever and a day.
So I failed. Yet I have learned so much from my failure that I realize now that focus is the catalyst to help me to learn to pace myself. Failure is no longer a scary word to me. Failure is my teacher and I graciously accepted defeat and surrendered.
Now, I have returned most of the books with my tail between my legs (with the exception of three books) and will reorganize to be the best I can be.
Word for the day is: focus.
What is your most recent failure and what did you learn from it? Care to share?